Shouting “Hallelujah” comes easy when you have not been tested. It is easy to say “God loves me” when all you have seen are His glories and mercies on your life. But maybe that’s the attitude we should have—to praise God and know that He loves us no matter our circumstances. Often, we look to the things happening in our lives and forget about the divine atonement He made to win us unto Himself. What love is greater than that? Well, this has not always been my attitude about God’s love for me. To be fair, and like any typical Ghanaian child, I grew up in a Christian home and my parents ensured that going to church was a mandatory part of our routine. We were raised to believe in God, to love God, and to know that He will provide for and protect us.
But soon things started going bad in my life. First it was the death of my beloved grandfather, then my father. My grandfather and I were very close. He was blind and I was the person who held his hands as he walked across the house. The pain that his death brought to my young heart was unimaginable. I felt empty-hearted and crashed as he was plucked out of my life. That was in 2001 but in 2013, my able-bodied dad died mysteriously. He was not sick and, although I lived thousands of miles from him, we talked often. Our last conversation was the day before his death. Why would God allow all the good people in my life to be taken out just when I am becoming confident in their ability to protect me from the pains and terrors of this wicked world?
I blamed myself for these deaths (as if I could have done anything to prevent the deaths), but I blamed God more. If He was so powerful and loving then He must have known how much these people meant to me. And if He knew, why did He allow their deaths anyway? Increasingly I questioned God about the truth of His love for my life. Just this February, another close cousin died of kidney failure. As a human with feelings, it is hard to continue shouting “Hallelujah” in the midst of these pains. But I come to church anyway—except it was because I would not miss the music. Today, April 2nd, was different. I was so anguished that I skipped church. Then I went to the mailbox to find a mail from the Sylvania First Methodist Church which, honestly, I hesitated to open. But when I finally did the message it brought challenged me to rethink about how I see God. It was a simple question for the scholarship application that asked me to write on “How I know that God loves me.” The simple question however, challenged me to reexamine my life and see all that God has done. It was time to seriously count my blessings. I reflected on the deaths and troubles of my short life but I also found gratitude and joy in the great things He has done for me.
For one thing, He brought me to America, to a land that promises goodness to those that worked hard. He protected me daily on the roads, and I still have my mother and brother in my life. He blessed me with the fellowship of a great church and has also blessed me with the gift of education and work—and perfect health. The list continues, but how can I forget to mention that He blessed me with eternal life through His son Jesus Christ. And through that life I am assured of seeing my lost relatives again someday. And for all my problems, including what is yet to come, He asked me to bring and leave them at His alter. He may not be delivering them the way my carnal mind would expect but He is certainly in charge of everything that happens to my life. What more could I ask for?
I also think about the world and people that wish they had just a share of my bountiful blessings! Then I realized how ungrateful I have been. I have been so selfish that I failed to see how God is bringing everything together for my good. So when you asked me about how I know that God loves me, this is what I will say: I see the evidence in His grace over my life. I see it in His divine designs and importantly, I see it in His Word—and His Word is yea and amen for my life. This is how I know that God loves me.
By Anita O
Written on 04/02/17
But soon things started going bad in my life. First it was the death of my beloved grandfather, then my father. My grandfather and I were very close. He was blind and I was the person who held his hands as he walked across the house. The pain that his death brought to my young heart was unimaginable. I felt empty-hearted and crashed as he was plucked out of my life. That was in 2001 but in 2013, my able-bodied dad died mysteriously. He was not sick and, although I lived thousands of miles from him, we talked often. Our last conversation was the day before his death. Why would God allow all the good people in my life to be taken out just when I am becoming confident in their ability to protect me from the pains and terrors of this wicked world?
I blamed myself for these deaths (as if I could have done anything to prevent the deaths), but I blamed God more. If He was so powerful and loving then He must have known how much these people meant to me. And if He knew, why did He allow their deaths anyway? Increasingly I questioned God about the truth of His love for my life. Just this February, another close cousin died of kidney failure. As a human with feelings, it is hard to continue shouting “Hallelujah” in the midst of these pains. But I come to church anyway—except it was because I would not miss the music. Today, April 2nd, was different. I was so anguished that I skipped church. Then I went to the mailbox to find a mail from the Sylvania First Methodist Church which, honestly, I hesitated to open. But when I finally did the message it brought challenged me to rethink about how I see God. It was a simple question for the scholarship application that asked me to write on “How I know that God loves me.” The simple question however, challenged me to reexamine my life and see all that God has done. It was time to seriously count my blessings. I reflected on the deaths and troubles of my short life but I also found gratitude and joy in the great things He has done for me.
For one thing, He brought me to America, to a land that promises goodness to those that worked hard. He protected me daily on the roads, and I still have my mother and brother in my life. He blessed me with the fellowship of a great church and has also blessed me with the gift of education and work—and perfect health. The list continues, but how can I forget to mention that He blessed me with eternal life through His son Jesus Christ. And through that life I am assured of seeing my lost relatives again someday. And for all my problems, including what is yet to come, He asked me to bring and leave them at His alter. He may not be delivering them the way my carnal mind would expect but He is certainly in charge of everything that happens to my life. What more could I ask for?
I also think about the world and people that wish they had just a share of my bountiful blessings! Then I realized how ungrateful I have been. I have been so selfish that I failed to see how God is bringing everything together for my good. So when you asked me about how I know that God loves me, this is what I will say: I see the evidence in His grace over my life. I see it in His divine designs and importantly, I see it in His Word—and His Word is yea and amen for my life. This is how I know that God loves me.
By Anita O
Written on 04/02/17